Quarterlife Crisis

i've been on difficult time recently..not many people know, cos i dont express it..
i just share it to my close friend..well its not a big big problem, but its a process when i start questioning some things : why is that? can i do that? is it too late? is she better than me? etc etc..

(some people said) it is Quarterlife Crisis..
i dont know much about it, just knew it yesterday from my bff..

from what i read here, quarterlife crisis usually occurs sometime in your twenties, a few years out of school and still feel as though you're waiting for you're life to begin.
It's an age where a lot people start developing a more realistic outlook in life and start feeling that if they haven't accomplished certain things in life they thought they would by then that they may never.. *ouchhhhh...thats what i feel also..

i regret why i refused scholarship to holland
i regret why i didnt study french well..
i regret that i cant graduate soon (took 5years, usually it only 4years)
i regret i refused working as an apprentice in big advertising agency
and not achieving things that i wanted since i was a kid, make me feel that i fail as a human being..i fail to be the one i want to..

i also feel that people are a lot better than me..
she is more beautiful..
(another) she is more clever..
(another) she speaks more languages that i do..
(another) he has opportunity to continue study abroad..
and im afraid that i cant be as good as they are..

i also feel insecure about my life..
can i live by myself?
about my job..is it the right job? what if i quit?? can i find another job?
what if im jobless??
about relationship..and social..and climbing social ladder..

im sick of the world that obsessed with how well we dress, how do we look..
what have we achieved..how fancy is our car..how expensive our shoes are..
who is our boyfriend..

well..these i already shared with my bff..and they said that they have the same thought..
for the first time i think that im too greedy, not thankful to what God has given me, not satisfied with what i have..
but then i browse and find a very interesting article about Quarterlife Crisis, and its far better then what i write here..so i just share the link so everybody can read :)

the interesting paragraph about Quarterlife Crisis on that article is :

This phenomenon, known as the “Quarterlife Crisis,” is as ubiquitous as it is intangible. Unrelenting indecision, isolation, confusion and anxiety about working, relationships and direction is reported by people in their mid-twenties to early thirties who are usually urban, middle class and well-educated; those who should be able to capitalize on their youth, unparalleled freedom and free-for-all individuation. They can’t make any decisions, because they don’t know what they want, and they don’t know what they want because they don’t know who they are, and they don’t know who they are because they’re allowed to be anyone they want.

*hope i can go through this well.. anyway i asked my mom, she said she never had this when she was twenty.. well i guess the world has change.

-dina nainggolan-